The Ministry of Truth

Bin Laden holds press conference to reaffirm own relevance

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia — Former source of immense hatred and terror Osama Bin Laden held a scheduled press conference today in a vein attempt to take back some of the spotlight after the White House’s designation of Saddam Hussein as the new “top evildoer.”

“Remember when Bush said he’d catch me ‘dead or alive’ — like 551 days ago? Well, here I am, I feel totally forgotten,” said Bin Laden through a translator. “Hello? Is anybody even listening?”

Long thought to have been a mastermind of the attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, a high-percentage of Americans now believe that Iraq and Saddam Hussein were responsible.

An Al Queda spokesman said that the President and media were responsible for credit not going where credit is due in America, saying “every speech Bush makes about Iraq, he mentions 9-11 and terror, and I guess nobody bothers to check.”

Bin Ladin seems to agree. “Yeah, they had me pegged for a while, and I was really enjoying all the attention. Those were the good old days. I don’t understand why everybody thinks Saddam had anything to do with 9-11, the guy’s a putz,” he said.