The Ministry of Truth

Extras from next Star Wars movie mistaken for surrendering Iraqis

Pentagon officials backtraking after claiming to have taken 8,000 members of the Iraqi 51th Infantry Division

Southern Iraq — Hordes of Sandpeople that were originally thought to be underfed and overwhelmed Iraqi soldiers have been identified as lost extras taking part in filming of Star Wars: Episode III.

The actors surrendered Friday in the face of a state-of-the-art allied assault. “Don’t shoot… We’re American! We got lost from trying to find the catering truck!” exclaimed the struggling thespians.

“A lot of them looked hungry. They haven’t been fed in a while,” said one US military official, speaking on condition of anonymity.

A spokesman for Lucasfilm said Episode III was indeed “getting second-unit material of the barren planet of Tatooine a couple of months ago. I’m shocked those guys are still alive out there after they got left behind, honestly.”

At a Pentagon news conference Friday, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld said he doubted the new reports of mistaken identity, and clarified that “they’re definitely Sandpeople, and just what we were expecting. I trust through intense interrogation we’ll find their true ID.”