The Ministry of Truth

Destruction of Iraqi television station spurs uprising

CENTCOM reluctantly confirmed that Iraq will miss the rest of the “American Idol” season.

Baghdad, Iraq — Thousands of angry Iraqi civilians took to the streets early this morning in a violent uprising after US forces destroyed the main tower of Iraq’s state-run television station.

“How could the Americans do this to us? How could they be so heartless?” asked a desperate man. “Look at my house! American Idol was the only thing keeping us from giving up all our hope.”

While many said that the central premise of “American Idol” — that anyone with the right talent could be swept up from their regular life into a life of fame and fortune — was appealing, others in the crowd disagreed, saying there is much more at stake after the loss of the television signal.

“‘American Idol’ is meaningless, but ‘Married by America’ has the values that I believe in, that love is eternal,” said a young woman showing defiance against coalition forces. “Now it’s gone, and I won’t get to see how it all turned out. Are you happy, you American bastards?”