The Ministry of Truth

Bush upset with poor cheat codes

Cheat codes for President’s personal copy of “Operation Iraqi Freedom” game for PlayStation 2 not working as well as expected

Washington, DC — President Bush is irritated by inadequate and dysfunctional cheat codes being used in the war against Iraq, top aides said on Friday. The President is personally entering the codes as he runs every aspect of the war on his PlayStation 2 game console from the playroom of the White House.

Administration officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, cited Bush’s “extreme frustration” with the non-working cheat codes, which the Pentagon found in various gaming magazines and online.

“Cheat codes are used to gain an advantage against your opponent, but the President is having no luck. They’re not working as well as we’d hoped, and the he’s getting annoyed,” echoed White House spokesman Ari Fleischer.

“Already, the President has thrown his PS2 controller across the room out of frustration several times,” he said.

“The President believes… That we are making very good progress in the war, it is on track, and he is very satisfied with the results,” said Fleischer. “However, he is concerned that some of his playing will now be affected — by that, I mean, the war-plan adjusted — because cheat codes that we were told would work are not.”

US media on Friday criticized the US-led war effort, even as military officials said unexpected Iraqi tactics, including possibly using cheat codes of their own to counter the President’s, will probably lengthen the conflict.