The Ministry of Truth

Thousands of upgraded Bin Laden models rolling out of Mid-East factories

Pressed to keep up with demand, Al-Qaeda factories now producing Laden 2004 models as quickly as possible

WASHINGTON — Reports surfaced today that Al-Qaeda, Inc. (NASDAQ: ALQA) is currently in production on what they hope will be next year’s explosive item — a new Bin Laden model.

Sources claim that the new model, dubbed the Laden 2004, will be even more evil and sinister than its predecessor.

An Al-Qaeda spokesperson wouldn’t give details on the features of the new Laden model, but demonstrated a prototype for reporters. The Laden didn’t disappoint when it destroyed the entire press-conference.

“Our advanced engineering team and regional focus groups have lead to this breakthrough item,” said Al-Qaeda Public Relations Coordinator Mary Smith. “If you thought the last Bin Laden was bad, this guy will knock your socks off.”

“Also, we’re happy to announce today that a new female Laden model will also debut next year,” said Smith. “Our data shows that girls are a currently untapped niche in this market, and we plan to take advantage of that.”

Children around the Middle-East are already excited about getting their very own Laden 2004, and projections show that it will destroy previous sales records.

“I can’t wait for the Laden 2004! Mom and Dad already said I could get one if I’m good, but I’m pretty sure they’re gonna be getting one of their own anyway,” said one Egyptian youth.

Al-Qaeda spokesperson Smith said that America “deserves a huge part of the credit for creating the demand for this item. Thank you, George Bush!”