The Ministry of Truth

Report: Ari Fleischer and Saeed al-Sahaf never seen at same time

Area television viewers note the similarity of styles between the two public-relations officials

TAMPA — Area news watchers made a startling revelation today regarding White House press secretary Ari Fleischer and Iraqi’s Information Minister Saeed al-Sahaf today, speculating that both men could actually be the same person.

“I mean, they both tell some whoppers, they could actually be the same person. You know, I’ve never seen them in the same room together. That’s, like, interesting!” said one news-junkie.

“That time when Ari said that the leaders of other nations are not buyable. That was a riot. Wasn’t that right before we gave a few million to the Turks for some support?” added another television viewer. “I laughed my ass of on that one, with the rest of the White House press corps.”

“Or what about when Ari said that the huge tax cut for the rich was necessary now so that the troops have jobs to return to. Um, hello, they have careers in the military. Nobody’s getting discharged like after Vietnam cause there’s no draft, and people in the reserves have a legal right to the job they had before,” another fan of cable-news chimed in.

“Yeah, but what about when Saeed said that Iraqis would slaughter all the Americans, right before we took Baghdad. That was hilarious. Poor guy is the ultimate straight-man,” another news watcher said. “It’s too bad he’s probably dead now, ’cause he would have been a great sidekick on Conan or something.”