The Ministry of Truth

California recall debate features all 135 candidates

Sacramento — The first debate of California’s recall election gave voters the chance to get to know each of the candidates on a personal level, and understand the intricacies of their positions on a variety of complicated platforms.

Due to time constraints by the major television networks who agreed to air the debate nationally, each candidate had only six seconds to respond to questions posed by the moderators.

That didn’t stop the finest political minds in the state from making a deep impact in their quest for the governorship of California.

“It’s, ah, my belief that…” started Hustler publisher Larry Flynt, before being cut short by the time buzzer.

“I’m sorry, sir, your time is up,” said moderator Jim Lehrer. “Next down the line, please! Quickly!”

The monotony of the evening was broken up as adult actress Mary Carey performed a lap dance for Lehrer.

A scuffle was reported outside the debate as former presidential candidate Ralph Nader was turned away from being allowed to participate.