The Ministry of Truth

President invites Ronald Reagan to several campaign events

Washington — Recently deceased former President Ronald Reagan appeared with President Bush at a fundraiser today as the White House searches for ways to continue to take advantage of a nation’s love for a fallen hero.

Bush campaign officials said that Reagan would continue to appear with President Bush until it becomes in poor taste to do so.

A few lucky attendees at today’s event had the once-in-a-lifetime chance to touch the beloved former President after a staging mishap flung Reagan’s body into the audience.

“When President Reagan passed away, I explained to my son the greatness of his legacy. Not only did he singlehandedly win the cold war, but he created a record economic expansion which we still feel today and even made the world a safer place by selling arms to Iranian terrorists,” said Bill Hudson of Alexandria, Va.

“Little Timmy actually got to shake President Reagan’s hand! What a thrill! He was so excited, he cried and even shreiked,” said Hudson. “I’m tearing up myself, actually.”