The Ministry of Truth

Texas Guard Veterans for Truth question Bush’s “beer bong” record

President stands by record, denounces latest ad from group

Washington — A fringe veterans’ group called Texas Air National Guard Vets for Truth has released an advertisement questioning the circumstances surrounding a “beer bong” record held by President Bush. The Vets claim that Bush has exaggerated his actual beer and drug intake during 1972 while in the Texas Guard.

The 30-second television ad begins with a black and white photo of then Lt. George W. Bush in the Texas Air National Guard with narration provided by several fellow Guard veterans who don’t remember Bush being present at any time.

“The partying, the drinking, recreational drug use… It was a fine time,” said an unidentified Guard veteran. “But when people say George W. Bush was the ultimate wild man back then, they’re lying. I could outdo anybody, and I don’t even remember this guy.”

The White House swiftly responded to the accusations.

“The President’s beer bong record of ingesting over three kegs of domestic ale on any given weekend during 1972 has stood for over 30 years, and no one has questioned it until now,” said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. “This is clearly a smear attempt on a record that should be damn impressive to all Americans.”

“That’s over 15 gallons in each keg. This is all documented and available on our website,” he added.

An anonymous White House official also noted that Bush has a proven history of reckless and wild behavior with his 1976 drunk driving arrest as the centerpiece.