The Ministry of Truth

Bin Laden podcast features weekly jihad declaration, cooking tips

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia — The Al-Jazeera news channel announced today that Osama Bin Laden will produce his own weekly podcast for listeners around the world, in light of the popularity of his recent spoken word releases. The podcast’s first episode featured a scathing critique of US foreign policy and a witty how-to on how to make the prefect omelet.

The podcast, entitled Laden Listener, is available via’s podcast directory on the iTunes music store.

“America is Satan, but omelets are simple,” said Bin Laden at the start the inaugural episode of the podcast. A podcast is an audio program distributed over the Internet using a syndication format for playback on mobile devices or computers.

A spokesman for Bin Laden said that the show would delve into many of the Al-Qaeda leader’s interests, including horrific terrorist attacks, grandiose political statements, and grooming tips for long beards.

“Well, let’s see… This is the first episode… So, uh, not sure… Hopefully this will turn into a cool way for me to get my tapes out. Um, so… Yeah. Death to America!” said Bin Laden as the show started to gain momentum.

Chris McIntyre, founder of the podcast-tracking website, said that a podcast is a perfect fit for Bin Laden.

“He releases a tape every other week to Al-Jazerra, so this will really speed the distribution for his fans and curiosity-seekers,” McIntyre said. “Plus, no more waiting for the CIA to confirm that it’s really his voice. This is the real deal, live from whatever cave or Saudi palace he’s stuck in.”