The Ministry of Truth

Freedom and democracy lead to surge of violence in Iraq

Official: American values are finally taking hold in Iraq

US Officials are touting the surging death toll in Iraq as evidence that the Iraqi people are coming to understand and live by traditional American values and ideals. “What we’re seeing in parts of Iraq is what we see on the streets of urban America every day,” said an unnamed White House official. “It’s a beautiful thing to see a country find its freedom.”

The death toll in a surge of sectarian killings swelled to over 91 today, bombings in Baghdad killed up to 10, and eleven more bodies were found dumped in Baghdad. Two Marines and a soldier were killed Sunday, bringing the number of US troops killed in Iraq over the past three days to ten.

“We love United State of Freedom!” chanted revenge-seeking Shiite death squads in Balad as they systematically killed 74 Sunnis.

Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld spoke openly about the transition of Iraq from a dictatorship to a free and open society where, just as in America, citizens are never discouraged from arming themselves to the teeth for the sake of shooting innocent people.

“I think the numbers speak for themselves,” said Rumsfeld. “This conflict is about winning hearts and minds now, and clearly the Iraqi people understand American-styled freedom and liberty — whether it’s in the form of an Amish school shooting or a rocket propelled grenade attack on a British military SUV in Basra.”