The Ministry of Truth

President gives go-ahead to enclose US inside steel-reinforced, foreboding compound

Planned US-Mexico border wall scrapped after lack of funding. No funds available for new plan.

President Bush signed a bill Thursday authorizing the construction of an airtight, blast-proof dome to hold the continental US safely inside it. Legislation approving 700 miles of double-layered wall along the US-Mexico border was expected, but a lack of proper funding made the original plan unfeasible.

The bill does not come with any new funding.

The move was condemned by Mexican leaders. President Vicente Fox told reporters that the military-strength bio-dome would not stop millions of Mexicans from heading north in search of jobs.

Mexican president-elect Felipe Calderon was even more blunt. “Humanity committed a grave error by constructing the Berlin wall, and I am sure that today the United States is committing a grave error,” he said.

US Officials countered that any comparisons to the Berlin wall were unfounded.

“To compare our new super-sized panic room to the Berlin wall is ludicrous,” said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow. “That was a wall, and this is not a wall. This is a tectonic plate-mounted Death Star. Totally different.”