The Willis family of Wyoming, all fans of FOX News Channel since its debut ten years ago, watched Brit Hume and Shepard Smith over dinner every evening
Coroner blames tragic accident on faulty antenna, faggy Eurotrash
As Fox News Channel celebrates a decade of excellence in New York, a small town in Wyoming is seeking answers after a tragic incident in which an entire family’s heads all spontaneously exploded while enjoying dinner and the evening news. Officials first on the scene in the normally quiet town of Ranchester said that the television was tuned to a public access channel with the day’s broadcast of BBC World News wrapping up. No signs of foul play were found in the Willis home, just as no explanations have been offered by the local police department.
While there were no witnesses who survived the terrible ordeal, neighbors said they heard shouting and screaming before the deep “thud” which blew out the living room windows at the Willis home.
“I was outside and heard Jack (Willis) screaming at the T.V., really mad,” said next-door-neighbor Brad Kuntz. “First it sounded like he was really confused, then like he was really angry, and finally like he was in some real pain.”
Another neighbor told investigators that he heard a woman pleading “It’s okay, it’s only that Alan Colmes wuss” in a probable attempt to calm the family down before they met their gruesome end.
A tape of the BBC World News broadcast from that fateful evening was obtained by local detectives, but no one has yet volunteered to attempt to watch it.
“God only knows what is on that tape,” said a city official who wished to remain anonymous. “I have nightmares just thinking what could be there.”